Guest Meows!
This is Larry for Ariel. She and her three cats, Atom, Dinky, and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. [Harry is at Rainbow Bridge now.] We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human beans with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Chester the dragon, Atom, Dinky, and Emily with Cat Chat:

Cat Chat 08-06-01
Food Bowls In The Living Room

Emily: Boy, dem boys sure got in trouble today an I bin lovin ebery minute ub it! Da Moms are mad an yellin an makin sure dem nasty worts stay hid, an day is runnin like crazy! Mweeeheeehee!!

Chester: The Moms sure do have the boys running scared, all right. Poor little guys! They didn't mean to get into trouble.

 Emily: Poor little guys my claws! They's trouble waitin to happen! I seed da whole ting an I tell yous, day nosed day was up to no good! They was so sneaky bout it an made sure both ub da Moms wouldn't nose what day was up to. Day waited til Mom2 was in her office wid da TV on an nosed dat Mom1 was still asleep an would hear a ting, cause she neber does when she's asleep.

Chester: Heehee, Mom does sleep soundly. I heard some noise, but I didn't think anything of it. I was napping out on the deck. I figured the boys were just playing wildly like they usually do.

Emily: Day were, but it's what they were playin with dat got dem in trouble. Like I said, I sawed da whole ting. First dat Atom monster started to cober up da food in da food bowl, an he hooked his claw in da mat what Mom alays habs down under our food bowls, like he do alla time! He's so dumb, not nosin not to hook his claws into tings! So den ub course da water spilled outta da bowl an bof ub dem monsters watched it pour all ober da floor. I tol dem day was already in trouble, cause Mom hates to hab to clean up da water when day spill it, but day didn't care atall!

Chester: Heehee! They do like watching water.

Emily: Who doesn't? But dar's a place fur such stuffers an all ober da kitchen floor isn't da place! So anyways, like I was sayin, Atom still had his claw hooked in da mat. So he pulled more an da mat an both bowls moved. Well, he got unhooked, but dem worts got all cited. Day tawt it were great dat day could move da food an water bowls. An day started to get all crazy like day does. First one ub dem den da oder started hookin an draggin da mat cross da kitchen floor! Dar eyes was all big an wild an day was rollin ober each oder an habin a big ole time. Day tawt dat was da funnest ting day'd figured out to do, I meow!

Chester: I heard a bit of clinking of bowls, but I had no idea that was going on. How in the world did they get it into the living room without turning the bowls over?

Emily: I's really not sure! I tink it were assidental-like, cause day wasn't being careful at all. Day was draggin an runnin an draggin an playin until finally da mat an all ended up in da furry middle ub da libing room floor! Well, yous nose when Mom got up, dar were water all ober da kitchen, but day'd got dat bowl empty before day got it into da libin room. But then, now, we hab jus been fed by Mom2, an dar was still food in da food bowl, but somehow dem monsters didn't spill any ub dat food out anywhere. It were sorta amazing! I tol dem day was in big big trouble, but day wouldn't listen. Yous nose how day is.

Chester: Yes, they don't hear a thing but each other when they're busy playing. They are so silly, and so fun to watch! They tear around the house like they're insane. You really ought to play with them more, Em, they are a lot of fun. Besides, their game is a lot like Meow and Chase that you and Harry used to play, except their version is Chase and Chase-Heehee!

Emily: Humph! I's da Queen! I don't play wid worts. I's much too regal to play wid kitten monsters!

Chester: I think it would do you a lot of good. It would help get rid of that fat belly of yours!

Emily: Hey! I is not fat! I's just healthy! Rotten dragon-sheesh! Now, what was I sayin? Oh, yeah. So anyways, oncet day gots da bowls an mat into da libin room, day played an pulled an finally got da mat outta under da bowls, but still somehow da bowls stayed upside right. Den day rolled ober an ober wid da mat, flipping an flappin it all ober da place. Den da heard Mom get up an day nosed day was in trouble an day scooted out to da deck to hide.

Chester: I saw them come running out there, but I didn't think a thing of it. They do that all the time. They must not have though they were in too much trouble because they were rolling around and playing like they always do...until we all heard Mom.

Emily: Boy, dat were da end ub da end fur dem worts! Mom come out an she stepped in all da water all ober da kitchen floor. An den she walked a little further an looked at da bowls an da mat in da libin room floor, an she looked an I think she were tryin to decide what da heck had happened. She looked an looked wid her hands on her hips an den she yelled: "Boys! What the heck hab yous done?" Heehee! Ub course, dem worts wasn't gonna come oncet day heard her. So she went out on da deck. I followed her out dar.

Chester: Oooo, she was mad when she came out too! She yelled to the boys to get their fuzzy butts into the house and chased them in. They were half scared and half nuts. I just had to follow everyone in to see what was going on. She pointed at the bowls, and picked up the mat and shook it at them and yelled and yelled. Mom2 heard her and came out and they had a discussion about how in the world those boys got the bowls into the living room. Mom2 said she'd only been in her office about 20 minutes. They work fast when they want to! Hahaha!

Emily: Yeah, an day run fast when day need to. An day was scitterin and scatterin when both da Moms started yellin at dem. It were da funnest ting I's seed in a long time-mweeheehee! Oh, dem worts was hidin an peekin out to see where it might be safe an ebery time day poked out a head day got yelled at agin. Da Moms said ifn day better not eben see one fuzzy head! So da worts hab bin hiding alla day long! It's wunnerful, it's like habin da house all to myself!

Chester: Yes, you've been queen for the day, that's for sure! The Moms are loving all over you and the boys don't dare show their faces. I think the Moms are being a little too mean, though. They won't even give the boys any Whiskas, just dry food and water! Not that the kids can come out and get a bite to eat anyway. As soon as one of the Moms sees one of them they yell again and back they go into hiding.

Emily: Humph! It's da least day deserbe! Day was bad bad boys, day was! Day nosed day shouldn'ta bin doing what day did, but day went an did it anyways. Day should be on dry food an water alla time! I's da only kitty what deserbes Whiskas an Yum-yums!

Chester: You're full of yourself, you know that? Hey, wait a second, what's this? (the boys go thundering by) Why aren't the Moms yelling? Oh my gosh, they're going crazy again!

Emily: Claws an Tails! Mom gived up an gived dem monsters real food an now day's dar ole goofy selfs agin, runnin round like crazy doggies. Dis isn't good atall. Mom shouldn't oughta gib in to dem boys, day's jus gonna get in more trouble!

Chester: Well, you can't expect the Moms to starve them forever. After all, they do love the little heathens.

Emily: Humph, dis isn't fair atall! I should be da only one to get good food, an dem worts should stay hid alla time. I better hab a long talk wid Mom fore tings gets outta hand. Moooommmmm!!!!! (Emily stomps off)

Chester: Heehee, these boys are so fun to be around when they're happy! Come on, guys, let's play!


Cat Chat 08-16-01
Emily's New Do

Atom: Emily tink she be super hot stuffers deese days. She jus a-prissin around all sassy like an eggstra mean. It all started when Mom took her to get her new hair-do. She was jus kinda layin round befur, an sneezin a lot too. She jus wouldn't do much ub anyting. But den Mom stucked her in da cage and tooked her offen to da vet bean an boy were she mad!

Emily: Yous better believe I was mad! I shouldn't have to get stuffed into that little cage that stinks of you two! I nosed Mom was taking me to dat vet bean an I fought as best I could but she's alays stronger, darn it!

Dinky: Me didn't nose dat da Queen could get into so much trouble as to get stuffeded into da cage! Me were simply mazed bout dat! But only Mom didn't leaf her sittin in da cage in da libin room like she done me, like Addom said, she tookeded her offen in dat big noisy moofin ting. An when she comed back, Emily weren't wid her. Me didn't nose what was goin on but me was reliefed not to hab da nasty Queenie growlin at me fur a while.

Emily: I'll show yous growlin, yous monster! (Tries to paw-whap Dinky, but he's hiding behind Chester)

Atom (ignoring Em): Oh, yeah, me guesses dat's right, yous neber seed anyone tooked offen to da vet beans and lefted dar, cept but yous was done dat to when yous got noodled. Me admit, it were nice to not hab da growly Queen round fur a night, but me nosed she were comin back, cause Chester tol me all bout what da Mom's was planning fur her.

Chester: The Moms had been talking about it for a while. It's been so hot and muggy, and it was obvious Em wasn't feeling well. Like Atom said, she'd been sneezing like crazy, and laying around. The Moms were getting really worried. So they decided they better take Em to the vet.

Emily: Yeah, it was bad enough I had to go the first time! The vet gave me a shot that was supposed to make me stop sneezing, but I didn't. But Mom asked da vet bean what to do cause my fur was so thick an matted an stuffers, an da vet said, well, we can shave her! I didn't like da sound ub dat atall atall! But ub course I had no say in da matter. Mom tooked me home, but she'd made da pointment fur me to get shaveded. I wasn't one bit happy bout dat, but a couple ub days went by an nothing happened so as I thought I was safe. But I was still sneezing, an feeling real lousy, yous nose? Da muggy heat was really too too much fur me.

Atom: So, after a few days Mom stuffeded yous back in da cage an offen yous went! Heehee!

Emily: Boy, was I mad at Mom! I woulda tored her up ifn I could hab! An I was sceered too, after she lefted me in dat place. I didn't nose what hurrble ting day was gonna do to me! An I didn't like what day did do one little bit, at least at first. Alla my bootiful fur was gone!! An I felt all icky an hurrble bad.

Chester: It sure was a shock to see you like that for the first time! You looked really funny, all shaved with just fur on your head and tail and feet! Heehee!

Emily: It weren't funny atall! It was weird. I had nothing to lick, with all my fur gone.

Atom: Yeah, an yous smelled awful too, like dat awful place. Me an Dink was all upset wonderin what happened to yous. We wasn't eben sure it were yous atall, yous looked so strange.

Dinky: Me tawt anoder cat what kinda smelled like da Em queen had got into da house. But da Moms was all makin a fuss an calling yous Emily, so me guessed yous musta bin Emily, but different. Me were fraid day was gonna drag me off an do da same ting to me!

Chester: I don't think you have a thing to worry about there, kiddo. You don't have enough fur to get shaved-heehee! I wasn't worried about Em. It was all I could do to keep from laughing! But I've gotten used to the way she looks now.

Emily: Yeah, I saw yous snickerin behind your claw! But it weren't funny atall atall! I was furry upset alla dat night. But den, da next day, I realized it felt really good! All that hot matted fur what is so hard to keep clean was gone!! Suddenly I didn't feel all tired an groggy an too hot. I felt great! I started runnin round and doing stuffers like I did way long ago fore Harry got too sick to play! I've eben been playin wid toys and stuffers! Da Moms are real happy to see me feel so good. An I do, I feel so much better. Now I wishet dat Mom had done tooked me to get shaved months ago!

Atom: Yous hab bin a different kitty since you got your new do. Me couldn't believe it when yous started pwayin wid ice cubes Mom throws on da kitchen floor, an were really mazed when yous stole one ub my toys from me! Yous habn't eber done dat befur!

Dinky: She eben stoleded one ub my mousies an pwayed wid it. But an she really got all fulla herselfs an beat me up sometin fierce fur no reason. Da Moms tol her to stop an get ober it, an she's sorta leabin me lone now, mostly. But she sure is a different kitty! Me never woulda b'liebed Em could run an pway like she's bin doin. Me nosed she was fast wid dem paws ifn me gets too close, but me neber nosed how fast she wer on dem feet! She's a wild kitty, she is!

Emily: Hahaha! I don't eber needs a reason to beat up on yous, monster Dink! But It's getting sorta fun to play, at least wid Atom. We play attack lots now. I eben play a little chase wid Dink...but he makes sure I don't catch him! Mweeheehee!

Chester: Well I know the Moms are delighted with the change. They love seeing you play and run. They even say they think you're losing some of that fat. It's been really good for you to get that haircut. And I love the way your fur feels. It's so soft!!

Emily: Mom lubs it too. She pets me an pets me, an I sleep next to her most ub da night. I eben jump down from da high side ub da bed stead ub using da stairs! It's jus a wunnerful feeling, an I feel so clean too. An Mom doesn't had to brush me and pull out any knots anymore. I tink I wants my fur to stay like dis alla time, I do!

Chester: Well, you might want it back once it start getting to be winter.

Emily: Well, maybe. But maybe hopefully it will grow back not all matted an stuffers. Dat would be real nice.

Chester: I think as long as you keep playing and running around, you'll be able to take better care of it as it grows back in. I think you were just so miserable with all that hot fur that you just didn't have the heart to try to keep it from matting up.

Emily: Yous might be right. By winter I might jus be a whole new slim trim me, like I used to be. Heehee, I lubs dis! Come on, Atom, let's play!

Atom: Ok, but watch dem claws! (they run off)

Dinky: She sure is strange now, me meow. But, me tinks me likes her better dis way. Specially ifn she stops beatin me up.

Chester: Oh, she will. You're almost grown and she is feeling good instead of being a big grouch all the time. I bet in a few months you'll all be playing like old friends.

Dinky: Huh! An all cause ub a fur cut! Furry strange!


Cat Chat 08-26-01
Sharing Mom's Bed

Atom: Eber since Emily gots her furcut she's decided dat she's sposed to sleep on Mom's bed alla time. Me doesn't nose fur sure ifn she jus hab decided to take ober alla me an Dink's places or ifn she is got to where she don't mind too much being near us boys nowadays. She's not quite as growly when she gets up on da bed an we's dar already. But she do get fended ifn we has da spot she wants!

Dinky: Me doesn't nose bout her not bein so growly. She sure growls at me ifn me gets up dar an tried to lay down next to Mom. But she only stalks offen da bed bout half da time now, long as I stay on da oder side ub Mom from her.

Emily: I'm not a bit happier bout sharin Mom's bed wid yous worts dan I eber was, but I wants to sleep dar! I likes to sleep next to Mom an get all lubed all ober. An I like Mom's smell on da bed eben when she isn't on it. So I jus puts up wid yous two, some ub da times. Dar's so many cozy soft warm places to sleep on dat bed, eben ifn it isn't so big like Mom's old one at da oder house...

Chester: I wish Mom still had that other bed! It's getting crowed with all you cats sleeping on it now. It wasn't so bad when the boys were little and Em would sleep there at all, but now I hardly have any room!

Emily: Dat's cause yous getting so big! You'd hab plenty ub room ifn you'd stop growin. Humph, now what were I saying? Oh, yeah! Da bestest spot is ifn she leabes da cobers down an her heatin pad is up by her pillows. Den I's all surrounded by soft cozy pillows and so furry warm. It's like a little hidey place where no one can see me!

Dinky: Me lubs dat spot too! Me rolls an rolls round in it an gets all crazy from da Mom smell. An me hides an portends to tack Mom when she come up to see me. She laff an laff to see me rollin round crazy dar-heehee! Da only problem wid dat spot is dat Mom runses me outta dar when she come to lay down. She tries to squeeze in an snuggle me, but she takes up too much ub da room!

Emily: She sure does! Dar isn't no snuggling wid me when she climbs into da bed ifn I's in dat spot. She jus move me right outta da way. Sometime I gets all offended an jus leab, but usually I comes back an lay down next to Mom again. I'b taken Harry's old spot next to Mom;s pillow. As long as she isn't moving round too much, I stays, but ifn she's flippin an floppin round den I leab again. An sometime I leab ifn dat Dink wort come up an try to lay down near me. He jus hab no manners atall!

Chester: I've noticed how easily you get offended and leave. You'll even leave if I flop a wing over on you.

Emily: Well, ifn yous has some big lug floppin a wing ober on yous yous'd leab too! Yous should just sleep on da couch. Dar would be more room fur us den.

Chester: I do some of the time, but I like to sleep with Mom too. And I like to watch the action on the bed. I think it's really funny how the three of you sort of trade places depending on who gets on the bed first, and who gets off. It's like musical cats! Hahaahaa!

Atom: Musical cats? What does dat mean? Us cats do make music, unless yous call dat yowlin dat Em calls singin music!

Chester: Heehee! I'm referring to an old fashioned human children's game where the kids get up and change places to music. You cats don't change places to music, but you sure do change places. It's hilarious! It might start out that like say, Atom, starts out laying in the good spot near the foot of the bed. Then he gets up to play with Dinky, so Emily gets up on the bed and lays down where Atom was. Then Dinky gets up and starts rolling around in the sinkhole by Mom's pillows and Emily growls and gets offended and leaves. So then Atom gets up and lays down near the bottom of the bed on the throw Mom keeps there, and Dinky gets up and lays down near him. Then Emily comes back and lays down in the sinkhole! Then Atom will get annoyed with Dinky and move up to the sinkhole in the middle of the bed. Then Dinky will move down to the foot of the bed. Then if Atom gets up again, Dinky or Emily will take his spot, or if Emily gets up Dinky will take over the sinkhole. It just goes on and on. You cats are so silly! Heehee!

Emily: I don't see what's so funny about dat! Dat's normal cat stuff. A kitty has to claim her territory, specially ifn da oder kitties try to claim da same places. I have to move around on the bed to make sure my smell is all over it so as the worts will nose it's mine!

Chester: That doesn't seem to deter the boys from sleeping in the spots you've claimed. Why even bother?

Emily: It's jus part ub bein a cat, stupid dragon! Yous wouldn't unnerstand atall atall. Kitties hab to mark dar territory ober an ober to make sure it's dar's. We eben mark da Moms, yous nose. I's fully aware dat da wort boys mark all da same places including da Moms, but dat doesn't mean I shouldn't go back an mark dem again. It's got to be done. It's part ub our job, in my pinions.

Chester: Well, it's still funny. The Moms think it's funny too.

Atom: Da Moms tink eberyting we does is funny, less we does sometin what gets us in trouble. Me tinks dat dat's part ub our job, too, making da Mom's laff.

Emily: Ub course it is! I guess you was too little or maybe not eben borneded last time we talked about dat. See, da Moms nose we owns dem an all, an but ifn we didn't do stuffers to make dem happy day wouldn't want to be owned by us.

Dinky: Yous means day wouldn't let us lib here?

Emily: Yeah, dat's right! Ifn yous really really bad da Moms might decide yous isn't worth being owned by an den day'll jus take all yous mousies an throw yous out in da cold! Mweeheehee!!!!

Dinky: Oh, no!!!

Atom: She's jus bein mean, Dink. Da Moms lub us. Day wouldn't never throw us out. But since day does feeds us an makes us a nice home to lib in an gibs us toys, it's only right dat we oughta do stuffers fur dem, like make dem laff an letting dem pet us an bein cute an bootiful. So me guesses dat does make it part ub our job.

Dinky: Oh, well, den, me's safe as safe den, cause me alays makes da Moms laff. Specially when me pway wid my mousies an rolling round an round in Mom's sinkhole! Heehee!

Emily: I hates to admit it, but da wort is right. Da Moms lub dat kinds ub stuffers. I guess I's stuck wid da worts fur good!

Chester: Stuck is right, with all of us on that little bed! Heehee! But I don't mind Mom flopping over on me, or the boys laying on my wings or feet. It just makes it that much cozier.

Atom: Me likes cozy!

Dinky: Me too!

Emily: Well, I guess we've got cozy, like it or not, cause Harry's old spot is mine now! So don't yous worts eben tink ub creepin up an tryin to take it! Meererrooowww!!

Dinky: Who, us? Neber! Heehee!


Cat Chat 08-31-01
Selective Sense Of Smell

Chester: A certain little black and white cat around here has a very selective sense of smell...

Atom: Is yous talkin bout me? Me doesn't tink me smells.

Chester: No, I'm talking about your little friend Dinky.

Dinky: Yous talking bout me?? Me doesn't tink me smells, at least not bad or anytin. Does yous tink me smells Addom?

Atom: No, me doesn't tink eider one ub us smells atall. Cept ub course like cats is sposed to smell.

Chester: No, no, I'm not talking about the way you smell. I'm talking about the way you smell! I mean...you two are confusing me. OK, what I mean is, I don't mean the way you smell, I mean the things you chose to be able to smell.

Dinky: What in fur is yous talking bout? Me doesn't chooses to smells anytin anyway! Me jus smells stuffers what is dar to smell. Me tinks yous offen yous rocker. Me heared da Moms say dat bout someone, heehee!

Chester: You still aren't understanding what I am talking about. Please just let me explain without any more interruptions.

Atom: Who's interpretin yous?

Chester: You are! Now be quiet and listen. Ok, now. What I mean is this: there are certain things that Dinky can smell no matter where they might be, and other things he can't smell even if they are right in front of him.

Dinky: Oh, yous talking bout how me sniffs tings. Me tinks my sniffer works right good. Me can smell anytin, eben stuffers outside ub da deck!

Chester: Well, it's true that most of the time you seem to be able to smell anything there is to smell around here. But sometimes you don't seem to be able to smell things at all and other times it's like you have a bionic nose!

Dinky: What's boinitic?

Atom: Me tinks it habs sometin to do wid plants. Me's heared dem beans on da weader station on da TV talking bout bionitanicals when day is talkin bout plants...

Chester: No, no! Not botanicals! Bionic. It means your nose works even better than any cat's nose ought to work.

Dinky: It do? How does yous nose how much a kitty's nose oughta work, anyways? Yous say an say yous isn't a kitty, so ifn yous isn't, how does yous nose? Me tinks my nose works jus eggtactly da way a kitty's nose should oughta work, doesn't yous tink, Addom?

Atom: Me doesn't see why it wouldn't. Kitties all hab real good sniffers.

Chester: I'm not saying you don't. Look, just let me give you an example, and don't interrupt!

Dinky: Chester seems to be getting awful frustateded bout our sniffers. Why is he eben talking bout us like dis?

Atom: Me doesn't nose. Me doesn't see what our sniffers hab to do wid anytin.

Chester: You two are driving me nuts! I'm trying to make a point here! Now, see, for instance...

Emily saunters in: Da Mighty Huntress is home! What are yous boys talking bout?

Chester: They way Dinky smells. You see...

Emily: Humph, he smells like a wort. Dat how he smells! What a stupid subject fur a column. I's goin to go nap on Mom's bed. (Emily stalks off)

Chester: Don't anyone say anything else until I finish what I'm trying to say! Now! For instance, when Mom is cooking, Dinky's nose is working overtime. He sniffs and sniffs. It's obvious he can smell what's being cooked.

Atom: Well, ub course he can! Da whole house can smell dem good smells when Mom cooks. Eben a bean could smell dem smells.

Dinky: Yeah, dat's fur sure! Mom is a good cooker, an dem smells smells real real yummy.

Chester: Yet when the Moms put down a bit of what they are eating, you can't seem to find it unless they stick your nose right in it. It's like you can't smell the pieces they put down for you.

Dinky: Well, but, dar's so much to smell at dinnertime an it's all confusin-like wid all dat flashin ub den fork tingys what day eats wid an all da yummy smells comin from da plates. Me doesn't nose what me's sposed to sniff to find stuffers.

Atom: Yeah, an sometimes a kitty likes to hold out to see ifn sometin better might get dropped instead, yous nose?

Chester: Well, Atom has no trouble finding the scraps, and Dink has no problem finding them if Atom is trying to eat them, that's for sure!

Atom: Dat's cause he's alays tryin to steal eberytin from me. He's not usin his sniffer den, he's jus usin his eyes to see what me gots!

Chester: OK, I can understand about Dinky knowing to get the scraps when he sees Atom eating them, and I can sort of understand that the Dink might get confused with all the dinnertime smells, but then how, with all the smells in this house, can you, Dinky, possibly find mousies that have been hidden from you by the Moms?

Dinky: Ohhhhh, now me nose what yous bin getting at alla dis time. Yous see, mousies hab a special smell to dem. Me can smell dem no matter where day is.

Chester: Apparently so, since you even smelled them through a sealed plastic bag! Way up on the TV where you know you're not supposed to go. How could you do that and not smell food that's right in front of you?

Dinky: Me doesn't nose. Me jus sniffs an nose dat mousies is dar what I don't hab an me goes an gets dem.

Chester: But you have mousies all over the place. How can you tell the difference between the ones on the floor and the couches and the ones the Moms hide, when you can't tell the difference between what the Moms are eating and what they put down for you to eat?

Dinky: But mousies are different den food. Day's furry special, an me wants to hab all da mousies dar is! Da bestest mousie find me did was when me gots some outta a basket dat Mom2 had under some books on her bookshelf. She still doesn't nose how me gots out dem mousies from da basket widout knockin eberytin ober! Heehee!

Atom: You're a mousie addict, you are!

Dinky: So? What's wrong wid dat? Mousies is da bestest tings dar is, me tinks.

Chester: Well, see, it's just as I was saying. You do have a selective sense of smell. You can smell mousies anywhere because that's what you most want to find. You don't smell the table scraps because half the time you don't even care, and the other half you know the Moms will make sure you find them.

Dinky: Ifn yous says so. All me nose is I lub mousies more dan anytin!

Atom: Mousie addict!

Dinky: Heehee!


Cat Chat is © 1999 - 2008, 2009 Ariel, Emily, Atom, Dinky, Harry, and Chester the Dragon. All rights reserved worldwide. This column may not be reprinted in part or whole without express permission of Ariel.

Poetry Corner
“Pages of Life” 11.06.88 
by L. E. Shaffer © 2001 L. E. Shaffer

A fire flickers
A sleep comes
The mood silent
Before me a book

In the dimness
A page
A beginning
Mood changing

Heart quickening
Eyes darting
Pleading
Questing

Page upon page
Life after life
The journey begun
Hope that there is no end

Here is sadness
Tears grip the soul
Here is life
By and by

Here is joy
Happiness unknown
Comes from the depths
A smile here and gone

Oh, life so cruel
Over before it begun
Don't cry after
These pages of life...

© 2001 L. E. Shaffer

Hockey Puck
Just when you thought Tiger was going to be normal, he goes off and wins the NEC golf tournament in the seventh playoff round. He won just a measly million dollars for that one, and he is still number one worldwide. Jeff Gordon won another race at NASCAR and lead in Winston Cup points. The long-awaited report on the death of Dale Earnhardt left a lot to be desired. NASCAR needs to own up to the safety issues involved instead of blame and excuses. Japan won the Little League World Series in its last at bat. The Bronx team with Danny Almonte was a big disappointment, when it was learned the youngster was 14 vice 12. Eric Lindros is free of the NHL Philadelphia Flyers and now is at home with the New York Rangers. The NFL Miami Dolphins didn't do too well in preseason, but they just might be much better during the regular season. Let the games begin!

Guest Articles
Ariel is back. As always everything is copyright of the author.

The "W" Song

to "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson

Clinton staffers had to leave cause Dubaya had won
Before the staffers had to leave they thought they'd have some fun.
And so they took all the W's and taped 'em all up
Oh yes they took all the W's and taped 'em all up
Oh yes they took all the W's and taped 'em all up
The Dubya staffers came to work, they called the Press Corp, very mad,
Said "Press Corp, is there nothing we can do?"
They said "Press Corp, to get back our W's?"
They said "Press Corp, is there nothing we can do?"
They said "Press Corp, do you have some Super Glue?"

We're trying not to laugh,
The staffers took all the W's and taped 'em all up
The staffers took all the W's and taped 'em all up
The staffers took all the W's and taped 'em all up
The staffers took all the W's, you called the Press Corp, very mad,
Said "Press Corp, is there nothing we can do?"
You said "Press Corp, to get back our W's?"
You said "Press Corp, is there nothing we can do?"
You said "Press Corp, do you have some Super Glue?"

You take down all the W's from up above the doorways
And you find all the W's they hid from you in more ways,
You take down all the W's, stick them where they go,
You take down all the W's and then you'll be in business."
Haa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Staffers took the W's, they took all they could find.
They crawled around and looked around and nearly lost their minds,
They couldn't find all the W's, didn't know what to do
They couldn't find all the W's, called the Press Corp, very mad,
Said "Press Corp, is there nothing we can do?"
They said "Press Corp, to get back our W's?"
They said "Press Corp, is there nothing we can do?"
And the Press Corp, they tried to set them straight.

You go straight to the Pentagon and they'll know what to do
Go straight to the Pentagon and get more W's
The Pentagon will sell them just a hundred clams a key
Go straight to the Pentagon, you're such a silly staff!
Go over to the Pentagon to get your W's, just
Go over to the Pentagon and they'll know what to do
Go straight to the Pentagon and then you'll be in business.

Oh no! How ever will we pay?
They said oh no! We don't have that cash, no way!
They said yow! How ever will we pay?
They said yow! We don't have that cash no way!
They said Press Corp, has to be another way.
They said Press Corp, without having to pay.
They said Press Corp, has to be another way.
They said Press Corp, we're not a silly staff!

Take the money that Shrubby got from his inauguration
Take the money that Shrubby got in that situation
Take the money that Shrubby got and buy the keys you need
Take the money that Shrubby got and you'll be back in business.
Yes, you'll be back in business. You'll be back in business.
Take the money that Shrubby got and you'll be back in business
Take the money that Shrubby got and you'll be back in business
Take the money that Shrubby got and you'll be back in business
Take the money that Shrubby got and you'll be back in business
Just take ole Shrubby's mo-o-o-o-o-ney!

© 2001 K. Young

The Mountains of Ao
Tears from Ao and three poetry collections, Pages of Life, Visions of Life, and Moments of Life are available electronically at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. The Runes of Ao project, The Mountains of Ao novel currently on chapter 17 of 22, and the The Book of Kalian Mysticism poetry collection are all works in progress. Also a collaboration with K. Young on a novella called Dragon Embers is now published on the fan site known as Runes of Ao.com.

The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony and Abby. Submittals may be edited for content and become the property for the one-time nonexclusive publication of:

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Publication date: August 28, 2001
Author: L. E. Shaffer
Company: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company &
Shaffer Internet Publishing Company
© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. SHAFFER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
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