Diss bee bestest cat Ebony. We all went to Ohio furr some holiday cheer. What we gots was cold, snow, and wots and wots ub mousies. Day moved into dee fifth wheel travel trailer. Dem mousies making all kinds ub noisee sounds in dee wall, under dee floor, and in dee ceiling vents. Abby and me went from place to place. We crawl into eberry cabinet and hidden paces. We get into dee basement. But we not get a mousie furr sure. Causing day eeder smart or day fingered out dat we were dare and run run run away from us far away. So Abby and me missed out on a holiday dinner ub mousie cheers.

Diss be better cat Abby and dat Ebony full ub stuffers. Not turkey needer. But we didn't catch none ub dem noisee mousies. I gots udder stuffers I kin catch furr fun. It guaranteed to make human bean run run run. He hollers a wot too. He eben chases me eberyway but which way but loose. But I is berrry fast. First I quietly go to dee undie draw. Can't be no udder draw causing dee bean not minded dem udder draws full ub whatnot that he not interested in. I putted me paw at top ub dee undie drawer and pull it open as purrritty as you peas. I kin open anyfing. Ebony can't do that. Sews you nose I is dee better cat now. Well, back to undie thievery. I gots dee drawer open and I carefully pick up some fancy undies. I finded out dat fancy ones don't weigh much. I sneaky out and hide dem eberrywhare dat make human bean go all colors ub dee rainbow. He den hollers and chases me on dee run eberry whare. I usually git to hide a bunch more undies where he can't finded dem. Bean always taking inventory. Mehehe...

I bee Ebony and I is not a undie thief. I got society manner, I do. I kin do sew many more fings Abby not do. I kin drive! Yes, I kin too. I get on human bean's wap and put me paws on dee big bwack steering fingeee. I paw it right and I paw it weft. But dee pedals at dee bottom bean hab to do. I watch all dem big fings go whizzing by and it not scares me at tall. I bee wooking furr rest areas causing we wike dem. We git out to see and smell all sorts ub gunk. Eben make funn ub dem dumb dawgs too. Once time eben Abby help us dribes eben doe she not really old enuff yet. She bee old enuff soon I meows. She be two soon and dat cat 24 and good enuff to drive anyfing. Any old which way, Abby did dee pedals whilst I dribes. Human bean sucking air thru his nose and making funny noises. We ran off dee road once or twice, but we not cause no big wrecks I nose ub anymeow. But I got scared when human bean twitched a bit and almost stepped on Abby's tail. Abby not wanna do pedals no more den. And I was tired ub dribbing anyway. I got up on dee dash and catnapped a whole bunch of dreams and stuffers like dat dare.

Well, we has gots lots of fun stuff this issue. Peas and carrots enjoy and be really good. >^..^<

Internet Stuff
One thing is for sure on the Internet, change. Webmasters who create and maintain websites are always looking for ways to maximize the effect of their web presence. And making money is good too. It is a lot harder to do than you would think.

Another innovation that is kind of neat and cool at the same time are splash pages. These are web pages that do something witty and fun in a small amount of time. My splash page is at http://geocities.com/les_novelist/. Oh, by the way, BlackWolf is a nickname kind of like a CB handle. No one uses their real name on the Internet. My Internet nick is the Maniac.

Another really cool thing to do to enhance your website is the onsite web ring. You all know about sites banding together in a ring so that like-minded webmasters are joined in a circle. This takes that one step farther. This ring is just for web pages of one website. Now visitors can cruise a website using ringlike functions and getting stats to show the most popular pages. Examples are on http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/1017/toc.html and www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=drk_hwys;random.

Our Circle of Friends [CoF] WebRing has been very busy recently; the URL is as follows: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/1017/circle.html. And we have enhanced our ring rules to help all members get more visitors to their home pages at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/1017/CoFHome/joincof.htm.

Hockey Puck
Some exciting news in this issue. The NHL All-Star game was a big success. And lo and behold Wayne Gretzky was voted the MVP! Then the next night he got three assists to move five spots up on the NHL's top scorer list. The Florida Panthers added instant offense to their team with the acquisition of Pavel Bure, the Russian rocket. He has scored seven goals in just three games already. There is nobody better on a breakaway and odd-man rushes to the net striking fear into the goaltenders around the league. Go Panthers!

The ECHL Hampton Roads Admirals are now associated with the NHL's Chicago Blackhawks. The Admirals will move up to AHL play in 2000. The ECHL franchise is hoping to move to Memphis, Tennessee, if everything works out.

Special Cats Worldwide
We meet special people and their cats all over the world via the Internet. GeoPasha is a lovely orange-striped cat of our friend Jakrinda at www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/2659/. GeoPasha is not really her name. It is really just Pasha. Isn't that pretty? Trouble is a nice girl cat too. Trouble, the grim cat reaper, owns BlackWolf. Emily and Harry meow our online Cat Chats. These two wonderful cats own human Ariel at http://www.arielelf.com/index1.html. When lovely Busan died, we were all very sad, but a little kitten has come along to change all that. Lil-Busan, our Swedish furrfriend, lives with her cat family and helps them own Madam G. and human beans.

Guest Meows! Recently, someone stole Pasha. Please pray that she is found soon.

My name is Pasha but you may just call me GeoPasha for short! I own the human youse all call jakrinda the SM of Orion and she meows that she also is a good online friend to the "maniac guy" (M77 she meows). I would like to tell youse all how to manage a cat pooter junkie.  My human, she is one of those cat pooter junkies or nerds if you will.  She always sits in front of that ol tan box like it is the most important thing in thees world.  I could understand it ifn she was doing her papers for her schoolwork at the university! But, no, she meows that she is doing important stuff fer thees place she meows is Geocities!  Oh, yeh, I mraws to myself . . .the people on the cat pooter where I has me webpage!  Yeh . . .she has a lot of picture images of me there too!   They is cool humans those peoples at the Geocities place.  I mraw again to that, and i knows that so do Abby, Ebony and Trouble (sorry, I does not have a working URL for G007's cat anymore!), me feline friends on the internet web thing. But, I still does not like all of the time she spends doing this important stuff!  I have to reminds her at times that it is time for her to turn her cat pooter off and give me some love and attention!  I does this by giving her a gentle bite on her arm , which incidently always seems to get in me way when I try to parade my beautiful self across her big desk!  I thinks to meself, what a beautiful ramp for me to parade and pose on!  I is a model for Monty's Modeling Agency youse knows?   I really feel that I is not that much neglected by my human even if she is the cat pooter nerd!  I gets the best of the cat foods, whiskas, pounce and my favorite shebas on the weekends.  I sleep atop her nice bed of water, all day and up on the headboard at night, for i do not wants her to rollover me while she sleeps.  I has the best seat in the house while she uses her cat pooter . . ."Right in front of the monitor!", while she works on her Star Trek webpage! I goes outside three times a day and catches me crickets and mraws at my neighbor felines, Lucky, Oliver and Hunter.  ifn youse goes to my website youse can sees their pictures there too!  Also my gooid friends Abby, Ebony and Trouble and LOTS of other worthy felines on the web! But . . .we is all so important to our humans, we should ALL have Geo before our names!  GeoAbby, GeoEbony and GeoTrouble!  I just knows that there is plenty of youse GeoCats out there!   Stands up on yer back paws fer your rights!  Mraw! I is a Heartland Girl!

This is Larry for Ariel. She and her two cats, Harry and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human bean with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Harry and Emily with Cat Chat:

Cat Chat 12-28
Hi, it's me Harry

And me Emily, Mew!!

(I was going to introduce you, Em!! Hiiisssppit!!!) Anyway, we have had such an interesting and strange week we hardly know where to start!

Me nose where to starts--Mom and girlfriend bean was sooo silly yesterday!! They laughed and laughed like they'd got into the catnip!!

Well, I was going to start at the beginning, but, yes, Mom and girlfriend bean were very silly last night. I thought they had lost their fuzzy little minds. You see what happened was...

What happened was day off day went wid Grandpa bean after day supper ate here!

Emily!!! I was telling it!! Besides, your grammar is terrible!!

Humph, sniff,(licking shoulder)..

Well, as Em was saying, Grandpa bean and girlfriend bean came over for dinner last night, and girlfriend bean even offered us some...

It wasn't tuna, tho!

No, it was that turk-key that Mom said she had to cook. It wasn't furry good, I meow…

You're boring Harry!! Me tell the funny part. So, after day eat, day go off and look at Christmas lights in Grandpa bean's little car...

Mom says it's a 1975 Honda Civic, and corners really well.

Yeah, dat why Mom and girlfriend was laughing so hard. See, there be lots of curvy roads around here, Mom say.

I'm sure glad they didn't take us on this trip! It's bad enough going to the Vet bean's office!! So, as Em was saying, there are a lot of curvy roads, and Grandpa bean takes the curves pretty fast...

Like Maree-o Andre-ttii, girlfriend say!

Yes, well, as Mom said, the car corners really well, and she says you can really feel every curve!! So they drove all over the country roads looking for lights...

And taking pitchers!! Don't forget the pitchers!!

I was coming to that. The thing is, girlfriend bean gets car sick, and all the curvy riding was making her woozy, she said. So, they found the places with the lights, and they were lit up just like last year, and on the way home Mom tried to get Grandpa bean to turn off on a road that wasn't so curvy, cause she knew girlfriend was getting sick...

But he were going so fast he missed the turn, sos day ended up on da curviest road of all!! Teeheehee

Exactly! Well, Mom started to laugh, and girlfriend said, "You're just like your Daddy." Mom takes curves fast, too, and girlfriend is always giving her a hard time about it. So when they got home, and Grandpa bean left, Mom said, "Next year we'll just do the lights on our own and girlfriend said...

She say, "No, what we should do, since all da lights da same, we jus get in car and start da engine and pass around da pichers from dis year!!" Den day laugh and laugh like crazy doggies!! Day was holding dare tummies and eberyting!! They was sooo silly, I meow!!

Yes, they sure get silly when they are together!! Speaking of crazy doggies!

Oh! Merroooww, hisspit!

Mom DOG SAT last week!! She was gone and gone night and day, day and night, and left poor Em and me alone way too much!!

Yeah, and den she come home smelling all like yucky doggies!! Peeeee-ewwwww!!! It just wasn't fair!

No it wasn't, not after she was gone so much two weeks ago! But I was glad to see her when she did come back. She said she was making extra money, but we haven't seen any extra yummy stuff for us yet!

No, just de ole tuna and Yum-yums.hmmm...Mom!! Kitchen patrol!!

That Emily! Always thinking with her stomach. Then there was the day that she came home, and we thought she was home for all night, cause girlfriend bean came over, and Mom said it was Christmas and they were opening those boxes that they put the crinkly paper on...

Mmph...smack...oh, yes, dar were crinkly paper and boxes eberywhere!! It were so furry fun!! And me jump in de boxes and play wif de paper!

But then there were those nanamals that girlfriend gave Mom, and they weren't nice at all!!

Oh, does nanamals!! Day was fuzzy like us kitties--Mom hab lots of does kinda tings, but dees, day walk and make whirring noises!! And day just walk and walk and don't stop fur notin!! Harry ran, he so scared!!

I was not scared!! I just didn't like them!

Well, Me Emily jus stay in kitchen and watch.

Anyway, we played and had furry much fun and were snuggling, Mom and girlfriend bean and me, and then Mom left again!!

She say she back now fur good, and be not sitting no more nasty doggies no more. Me not nose if me believe her…

Well, we'll see. Mom is always doing weird stuff, but us kitties gotta love her. She's furry good at snuggling and feeding us good things.

And scritching me ears!! Puuuurrrrrr

Well, that's all the excit-mint for this week. Paw to you next week. Purrs and snuggles. Meow Harry and Emily Mew.
© Copyright 1998 Ariel, Harry, and Emily


Cat Chat 1-6
Ariel's note: We have had freezing rain and sleet, then a hard freeze that has lasted for several days. The cats are going stir-crazy and getting on each other's nerves (and mine:)

Harry: Well! You should just see what Mom did to us now!!

Emily: Yeah, merroow (hisspit)! Is terrible, it is, me meows!! Is soooo furry cold.

Harry: Cold!! As if that was all there was! First there was this wet rain stuff that turned all slickery and hard...

Emily: Yeah, me were afraid to jump onto da steps! It were so slickery, me were afraid me would fall!

Harry: Emily! Stop interrupting! And then, just when the slickery stuff was almost gone, Mom made this hard white stuff come down and it froze hard and when we woke up to go out it was all hard and white and meow! sooo cold!

Emily: Yeah, it were so hard us kitties walked right in top and didn't sink in at all. It were slick but rough too. Den it started all slushy to get, and my paws sunk in and it was wet! And Mom walk on it and make big holes!

Harry: At least she pushed the stuff off the steps with that long brush thing.

Emily: Me hates that thing! Mom always pushing it around kitchen and making all our toys go away!

Harry: At least it's not as bad as the Big Whirring Thing she pushes on the rugs!! That thing is furry scary, I meow! Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, so it got wet and slushy-like..

Emily: Me say that!

Harry: Em!! Merrowww hissss. Then it got hard hard hard. And so I would go to the door, because I know Mom can make it nice again...

Chester: (Ahem! I have told you silly cats that human beans don't control the weather!)

Harry: No one was talking to you Chester! Hisspit! Well, every time I went to the door, I told Mom it was time to make it nice, and every time it was just cold and hard and white outside!

Emily: Yeah, not even no mousies or moleses to chase! Just squirrels and big black boidies--bigger and blacker than Harry--heehee

Harry: They are not bigger than me! They just look that way cause of their big flappy wings. And I am purrfectly black as black! So I go to the door again and again, and ask Mom to make it nice, but she won't, no matter how nice I ask!

Emily: Me is smarter than yous, Harry. Me just sleep near heater or on lectric blanket til Mom make it nice again!

Harry: You are not smarter than me! Anyway, that's why you are so fat! You sleep all the time!

Emily: Me not fat!

Harry: Are too!

Emily: Me not!

Harry: Are too! Meerrroooowwww hiiiisssssssss!!!

This is Ariel. Sorry, but the cats are chasing each other around the house again, so I guess that's all for this week. Say goodbye to your fans, kitties...

Both cats: (merroowww, hiisspit, bound, slap, hisssss, run)

Oh, well. They'll paw to you again next week. Purrs and snuggles. Meow Harry, Emily Mew, and Ariel

Chester: (And Chester!)
© Copyright 1999 Ariel, Harry, and Emily


Cat Chat 1-12-99
Hi! Dis is Mew Emily...

And Harry Meow! We have had nothing exciting at all happen this week, which is just the way us cats like it!

Emily: Yous said a moufful dar, Harry. So, us has decided to tell yous all about tings we wike to do, and tings we don't wike.

Harry: Exactly. For instance, one of our favorite games is Meow and Chase. Usually we start this by me biting Emily...

Emily: He don't bite me furry hard. He just nip, and den we play fight, and den me runs and runs...

Harry: And I chase her. She always hides, but not furry well. I can always see her, but I pretend I can't, so them I meow and meow real loud...

Emily: And den finally me comes out and runs again, and Harry chases me again, and den I hide again...

Harry: And then I meow again. It is a furry fun game, and we play it inside a lot and outside too. But sometimes when we play it inside Mom gets mad cause she says she is trying to sleep!

Emily: My don't know why human beans don't take catnaps wike us kitties do. But no instead day sleep long long at night, and don't play or eat or nothin!

Harry: Well, that brings up another favorite thing we do, which is Wake Up Mom To Feed Us And Let Us Out. First I meow real loud, and if that doesn't work sometimes I jump up on the bed and stick my nose in her face...

Emily: And me walk up and lay on her belly wike she wike so she can scritch me! So she scritch us some, den she roll and stretch wike us kitties do and say: "I'm getting up, I'm getting up!"

Harry: But she usually doesn't right away. Sometimes it takes us long and long to get her up and out of bed so we can eat and go out. But it's nice to have that time in the morning to snuggle and get scritch-scratched.

Emily: It be nice, fur sure (puuurrr). Me lub habing me ears scritched!

Harry: And I love having my belly rubbed. It feels soo furry good!

Emily: Merow!! Me hates that! Me bites Mom when she try to rub my belly! It not nice at all. Ooo! But anoder fun morning game is Feet Under Da Cobers!

Harry: I don't play that...

Emily: That cause you be an old fuddy-duddy, Harry! Mom will move her feet under da cobers, and me will chase them and bite them. It lots of fun, and me get furry excited when we play dat, but den usually Harry come ruin it cause he want to play Meow and Chase...

Harry: Well, it's a much funner game! Besides, Mom isn't getting up when you are playing Feet Under The Covers, and the point in the morning is to get her up!

Emily: Well, dat be true! Anyway, anoder favorite game is playing wid da milk rings...

Harry: Meow, yes! That is always fun. We have milk rings all over the house, heehee! Sometimes Mom picks some of them up, but there are always lots more.

Emily: Day slide around da floor real good, and we chew on dem and attack dem, like day were mousies…

Harry: Miss Priss, who is at Rainbow Bridge now, used to throw them up in the air with one claw and catch them again. It was funny to watch! I can't do that, but I bat them around real good, fur sure! My favorite toy is shoestrings, tho…

Emily: Oooo, Oooo, me loves playing wid da string dat tied to da kitchen chair is wid a bell, especially when Mom is pretending to sleep--heehee

Harry: I like is better when Mom plays with me. She pulls it along the floor, and I chase it and bite it...

Emily: You don't chase da string no more Harry! You jus lay dar and catch it wid your claws and teeth!

Harry: Well, I'm retired. I can play Shoestring any way I want!

Emily: Humph! And yous call melazy! Oh, speaking of lazy, somthin we doesn't wike is lazy freeloading cats!

Harry: You hit the cat on the tail, there, Em! There are several cats in out neighborhood who have homes, but want to come into OurTerritory and get Mom to feed them! Well, I don't put up with that fur a minute, fur sure!

Emily: Yeah, Harry a good cat chaser awayer. Me jus hide.

Harry: Sometimes the cats won't take a hint and won't leave and we start merow-yeowling at each other. Then Mom comes out with her Big Stick and pounds it on the steps and it makes a big noise and the cats run run--heehee!

Emily: The oder things dat come into Our Territory dat we don't wike...

Harry: But they don't come furry often...

Emily: Is nasty doggies! Most of da doggies around here is in fences, wike day should be, but sometime a couple will into Our Territory wander, jus wike it theirs!

Harry: And they know it's not! I chase them some, but sometimes they is not nice atall and try to chase me, so I hide under the trailer!

Emily: I hide under dar too already! Mom da best doggie chaser. She take her big stick and run after dem yelling. She neber eben hab to get close to dem, cause dem doggies be cowards and run run wid dar tails between dar legs!

Harry: Yes, heehee. It is furry fun to watch dem smelly doggies run away. The man bean who used to live here...

Emily: Mom's un-huband?

Harry: ex-huband. Yes, that's him. Well, he used to get made at her cause he said that the doggies would bite her. But Mom knows that doggies won't bite if they aren't in their own territory and the bean is not fearing of them.

Emily: Dat un-huband bean sure weren't furry smart, were he, if he not know dat!

Harry: No, he wasn't. I think maybe that's why he's not here anymore. One time late late in dark night he come home smelling of icky stuff with a strange man bean and a nasty doggie and brought them both into the house! Peanut Butter was still alive then, and he jumped up on the refrigerator. I never saw Peanut jump so fast! Mom was furry furry mad at that ex-husband bean and said she would call the Po-leese, so the strange bean and the nasty doggie left. And not too many moons after, ex-husband bean left too. Emily: Me not member dat too well atall...

Harry: That's cause you were just a little kitty then. Now we a happy happy house have with me and Mom and Emily! We keep each other safe and warm and have furry much fun together!

Emily: Yes, we owns a furry nice happy house, us kitties and our Mom bean (puurrr). What? Oh, Mom say we bin pawing too much and need to let her use da puter. Paw to you next week. Purrs and Snuggles from Emily Mew...

Harry: And Meow Harry! Kitchen patrol, Mom!
© Copyright 1999-2008, 2009 Ariel, Harry, and Emily

Poetry Corner
"Dark Highways" January 28, 1999
dedicated to the Dark Highways website

And the moon sings
The very air chilled
Cold the feeble highway
Goes on and on

Sanity left on the hill
In a moonlight dream
Words are there still
Hanging on the vapors

Cold creeping across
Seeping into thoughts
As in dark mirrors
One who stalks

The land primal
Fear but a word
Sound muted
All for the dark one

Highways forever
In black and shrill
Footfalls echo
Across dark highways

And the moon sings
The very blood spilled
Spread on dark highways
Drying to flake away

Dark mirrors
Windows on the soul
There to travel
Eternal dark highways

In The Park
While we have been sitting here with weather too cold or too warm, if you believe some, the Keys have been about right. I still get my weather mail four times a day at differing times. It just makes me want back there as soon as possible. Ebony missed the lizard hunting, I know. I miss the pool and warm weather. You get used to the things. Well, it won't be long now. April first is fast approaching. That would be April Fool's day. Or I might have to wait until the fifteenth of April if my lot is still possibly rented. That would be the dreaded tax day. Either date would be fine with me and the cats. We have to satisfy the cats, you know!

Roseanne sent me my medicine from the Veterans Administration. I told her I would pay for shipping. Of course, she did not let me know what that was in dollar and cents. So I thought I would be smart and just send her a check for more than I thought it was. But she hasn't cashed the check yet! Hey, someone tell her to cash it, huh? I have to laugh. I bet I am going to have to argue with her to take the money when I get there in April. Roseanne? Frank, maybe you can influence her? Isn't life so much fun and so grand sometimes? It is especially when you have such wonderful friends as these and more at Gulfstream Trailer Park and Marina. I even get to keep my old telephone number!

"The Mountains of Ao"
Tears from Ao and two poetry collections, Pages of Life and Visions of Life, are available electronically at NetPublishers and www.geocities.com/maniac77.geo/.

The Runes of Ao work is starting. I'm working hard on proofreader material and The Mountains of Ao chapter 11. Proofreaders contact me via e-mail/snail mail for latest versions. If you want to become a snail-mail proofreader, write to Larry Shaffer at the address below. All others please apply via any of the email addresses listed below. Nondisclosure statements will be required for all.

The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony. All inputs may be edited for content and become the property of Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company.

Internet URLs: http://RunesofAo.com
http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/
http://RunesofAo.com/ebony/
http://RunesofAo.com/abby/

Publication date: January 1999
Author: L. E. Shaffer
Company: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company &
Shaffer Internet Publishing Company
© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. SHAFFER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
FIRST PRINTING.

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