In The Keys
After all the holiday cheer and gifts of novels, I was unprepared for a bill from Bell South Yellow Pages. I didn't request any such service or received any either. I called them and found out that the bill was meant for Hanna Banking Services not me. I did buy a wind chime at Goofy Gecko. I also got a nice Key Lime candle. Goofy Gecko is located in the shopping center where Publix resides. Lazy Lizard, which is a store the like of Goofy Gecko, is located on the corner nearby. On Sombrero Boulevard behind this shopping center are a lot of interesting places. Dockside with bar and restaurant, the gulf course, Sombrero Marina, and the road curves around near Sister's Creek. Many a fine home lines this scenic route as well. A bike path follows this road and makes for a very entertaining tour, especially all the mighty fine yachts that I would like to own.

In the park there are several fun activities to share. One was the periodic ice cream social with cookies and coffee. Of course, the conversation is prime too. The Christmas dinner is always a success, while the New Year's party will go off without a hitch if the weather cooperates. The end-of-season party is a good bit of fun. The swimming pool is a center of fun, while the marina sees lots of boating activity. You don't have to go far to find fish though. Right in the center of our little harbor are always fish to be caught. With the winter storms the weather is a bit cool, windy, and sometimes rainy, but people still sunbathe and snorkel. Now the cats, though, want inside when it gets too cold. Of course, Keys cold is in the upper 60s.

On the Sci Fi channel recently starred a three-part mini-series called Dune having been a very successful series of novels written by Frank Herbert. The movie followed the novels quite well. I would hope other movies based on these series of novels comes out soon. I wish that I could write science fiction as good as these novels, but Frank Herbert did write complicated fiction. I believe that writing simply is better and serves to entertain more people more effectively.

Boating adventures continue as I visited Molasses Key. The middle island has a nice but small sandy beach. I polled in as it gets shallow near the beach. I visited Bullard Bank and John Sawyer Bank. At John Sawyer Bank there is a lot to see. Birds perched on exposed bank and the masts of a sunken boat. Bigger fish jumping through the air chasing smaller fish gliding into the air trying to escape. There are regular porpoise visits at the bank too. I saw a man one day walking on the exposed bank at low tide. He was picking up stuff, which he took to his beached boat later. I don't know what he was collecting though. 

Guest Meows!
This is Larry for Ariel. She and her two cats, Harry and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human bean with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Harry, Chester, Atom, and Emily with Cat Chat:


Cat Chat 12-06-00
Cat Names

Chester: I was reading this book by someone names T. S. Eliot called "Old Possum's Book Of Practical Cats." Mom has it on one of her bookshelves. It's a book of poems about different cats. A lot of them are really funny. But something stuck in my head that one of the poems said. It said that cats have three names, and one name is only known to the cat itself. Is that true?

Emily: Dat's plain silly! Cats hab lotsa names. An ifn da bean what wrote dat book didn't know all ub his cat's names, he weren't a furry good cat servant, I meow!

Harry: I agree. Beans that understand the cats that own them nose alla their names, even the one other cats call us.

Chester: How do they know that? Humans don't always seem to understand cat speak very well. Although I must say the Moms seem to understand just about everything you all say.

Harry: They nose cause we tells them. The Moms may seem a bit dim at times, but they are really purrty smart when it comes to what we needs and wants and says. They just ignore us sometimes, is all.

Emily: Furry true! But not much an not fur long, ifn day nose what is good fur dem! Heehee! But really day does unnerstan all kindsa cat speak: tail speak an meow speak an eye speak and body speak and whisker speak. Day unnerstan it all, eben ifn day doesn't do zactly what we wants when we wants it done alla time. Mom2 is a best trained, I meow. She jumps up anytime I wants anything, an nose jus what I wants. Mom nose, but she makes me wait sometime. I guess dat comes from bein owned by so many cats: she's learned when she can ignore us fur a little while and when she has to do somethin right away. It would be nice to untrain her a bit, I meow, an get her to jump up like Mom2!

Harry: I don't think she's any more trainable. She's all set in her ways now.

Chester: Teehee! I think you're right about that. But I'm not sure I understand something. You said cats have lots of names. Your names are Harry and Emily...

Atom: An Atom Ant!

Chester: Yes, and Atom. So what other names are you talking about?

Harry: Well, first off there's our full names. I'm Geharis Harrison and Emily is Monster Emily Small and Atom is Atom Ant. But so then there's our everyday names. I'm Harry, and Emily is Emily and Atom is Atom.

Emily: An you're Chester. But dat's not your only name. You hab a full name too.

Chester: Yes, I'm Chester Greenridge. I know I'm in trouble if one of the Moms call me that!

Emily: Now you're getting da idea! Differnt names is fur differnt tings. Like, the Moms call me Emily, but mostly day calls me Em or Emeleta. Day calls me Emily when day wants me to come in or somethin. Da oders are jus eberyday names.

Harry: Right! Like, Mom calls me Harris sometimes, but Harry mosta the time. Mom2 calls me Haree, with a accent on the ee. Then they have other nicknames fur us. They call me Precious Boy and Da Man and The King and King Kooter. Oh, and Sweet Boy, and sometimes Mom talks to me in this bean language called German and she calls me Gute Knabe, which means good boy, and Liebchen, which means little love.

Emily: Right! Now, the Moms call me Beautiful an Precious Girl an Queen an Queenie an Queen ub da House. An sometime when we's playin Mom calls me Tiger, cause I am fierce! An Sweetheart too, a lot.

Harry: They call all of us Sweetheart. Mom even calls Atom that, but Mom2 doesn't!

Atom: Mom2 hab lotsa lotsa names fur me. Mom uses some ub dem too. Like, ok, ifn Mom call me Atom Ant in a certain way, me nose dat she wants to see me an lub me an me comes runnin. But an Mom2 call me Da Terrorist an da Crimnal an Demon Cat an Monster, an Mom calls me that stuffers too sometime.

Emily: That's because yous are a monster an a demon cat! Yous is alays getting in trouble!

Atom: Teehee! Me's a kitten! Dat's me job! Now Grandpa bean, he calls me Monstro, an Mom call me dat sometime too. But she also call me Romeo an Puffy Boy. Dat's when me is lubin an not in trouble, ub course!

Emily: Grandpa bean calls me Emiline, an he calls Harry "Harrison." An he calls you Lester! Teehee!

Chester: Yes, he does, that's funny. OK, I think I understand now. Mom calls me Sweetheart and Chess and Chessie and Puff. That last name is from an old song, "Puff the Magic Dragon." She calls me Puff because I'm a magic dragon.

Harry: Now you're catching on fur sure! But it's not just names. It's the way they say them too. Like, if Mom2 calls "Hareeee" I nose that she wants to scratch me or give me something good to eat. I don't get yelled at fur anything anymore, but I member when Mom said "Hey!" it meant I was in big trouble!

Emily: "Hey" is a real common name fur da Moms to call us, fur sure! I get called Hey some, but Atom gets called Hey most ub all dese days. Now, ifn Mom or Mom2 calls us Hey or Hey You Cat, or Hey You Ub Da Furry Persuasion, dat jus means day want our tention, not dat we's done nuttin wrong. But ifn day calls us Hey real loud an sharp, it's time to run!

Atom: Dats fur sure! Hey loud an sharp is big trouble, like cage time or somtin like dat. Me nose it means stop what yous is doin right dis minute or else! An da or else isn't fun atall!

Chester: Ok, I can understand that really well. It's like, now that it's cold, I like to snuggle in bed with Mom, and sometimes Mom will say "Ches-tuuuuuurrrr!!!! You're taking up too much room!" She doesn't even say the last part a lot. I know just what she means when she says Ches-tuuuurrrr! Teehee! But what about these others names Harry was talking about, the ones other cats call you? What are they, and how does Mom know them?

Harry: Oh, them! Well, Mom nose them cause we've told her. And she's heared them too. There's all sortsa names. Like "Come over here and tell me that!" And "Spoiled Fuzzball, I'll show you who owns this territory!"

Chester: Those other cats have long names for you!

Emily: Yeah, they're all talk! Like the one freeloader who called me "I don't care who's house it is, I can still walk through da yard, fatty!" I showded her, I did!

Harry: Yeah, I's showded lotsa them freeloaders too! Nasty things! So yous sees, that bean that wrote that book, he didn't nose cats atall. He mighta thought he did, but he really don't, cause ifn he did he'd nose that cats have lotsa lotsa names!

Cat Chat 12-13-00
The Moms Crying

Emily: The Moms are cryin an I doesn't nose why. I nose dat they cries bout sad tings like beans day lub dyin, but nobody hab died. Sometime day cries when day watch sad moofies. Da TVs hab bin goin most night and day da last few days, but day habn't been watchin no sad moofies. Alls I nose is day is furry sad. Mom2 hab been unhappy since yesterday. I wished I nosed what were wrong.

Harry: I've nosed Mom2 has been furry unhappy alla day long. I've been in her office, where she's been hanging out bout alla day, tryin to make her feel better. She baby talks me, but I nose something is worng. She watches that TV and watches it more and I think that there is something on the TV what is making her sad. But all I can see is beans talking and talking and I don't unnerstand how alla those beans talking can make her so sad.

Atom: Mom were watchin da TV just a liddle bit ago an she were cryin an cryin. Me can't figger it out eider. Dar weren't no stuffers mobin on da TV, jus beans talkin like Harry says. But dar were a man bean talkin fur a liddle while and dat's when Mom started cryin. Me didn't nose dat da Mom's were all sad today. Mom2 stays in her office alot alot. An Mom hab bin doing stuffers round da house like she alays does. She sure cooked sometin what smelled turrble! Maybe dat's why day is cryin.

Emily: No, I don't tink dat is it. Mom2 an Mom both liked dat smelly stuffers what Mom cooked. Mom said it was borscht an said it was a good day fur it, cause it be cold an nasty outside. I wouldn't nose what it is like outside cause day won't let me out today cause it is so cold and nasty, day say. So I doesn't tink it's da borscht what made dem cry, an I doesn't tink it's da cold an nasty weather eider. Mom meowed fur us to come an be wid her at nap time today. I went an snuggled wid her some but da whole bed smells like Atommonster so I didn't stay too furry long.

Atom: Me heared her meowin but me didn't tink it were notin portant. Were it?

Harry: I think it was. Mom only meows when she wants us to comfort her. I didn't hear her cause I was in the office. Chester, yous been furry quiet about alla this. Do yous nose what is going on?

Chester: Actually I do. It's about the election for President of the United States.

Harry: Yous means all that politically stuffers that Mom2 talks about? I thought she liked alla that stuffers lots. How come it made her cry?

Emily: Yous said it was bout da lection? Dat hab bin goin on fureber! I nose Mom2 hab bin goin to all kinds ub politically sites on da Web an writin all kinds ub politically letters to lotsa beans. I don't unnderstand alla dis lection stuffers, an I sure don't unnerstand how come it made the Moms so sad and cryin.

Chester: I don't really understand it completely myself. See, back in November, all the people in America who wanted to vote voted for different people to serve in different offices that makes the country run.

Atom: What's a country?

Harry: It's a big big place where all beans live. An all kitties too, only kitties and dragons don't vote.

Atom: Be it bigger den our yard? Me don't eben hardly nose how big dat be, since me neber get to go out in it.

Chester: It's way bigger than our yard and our old yard and this whole street that we live on. It is huge! And millions of people live in this country that they call America.

Atom: Wow! Me's not sure how many beans be a million, but dat sounds like lotsa beans, fur sure!

Harry: So they all voted, but then what? I nose it just kept goin on and on.

Chester: Well, see, there was a problem. Some of the votes didn't get counted right, and some didn't get counted at all. That is, for the President of the United States, who is the person who runs all the stuff in America. At least, I think that's what he does. Anyway, one of the guys who was running for President, he wanted all of the votes counted, and the other guy didn't, because the first guy would win if all the votes were counted and the other guy would lose. Understand so far?

Emily: Yeah, dat means one of the guys wanted to cheat!

Chester: Well, a lot of people thought that, including the Moms. But the people started counting, and then people would tell them to stop counting, and the guy who didn't want the votes counted went to court about the counting, and the people who worked for the other guy went to court about the counting, and all sorts of lawsuits were filed about counting and not counting, and not all of the lawsuits were done by the guys running for the President either.

Atom: What's a lawsuit?

Chester: It's what people do to decide things when they get mad at each other. I think in the old days they used to just kill each other when they were as mad as these people were, but then they decided that maybe that wasn't such a good idea so they made up lawsuits.

Emily: When I gets mad at Atom I jus paw whap him and growl. Why didn't day jus do dat?

Chester: People don't do things that way. They have to make sure everything is extra complicated so people get even madder at each other.

Harry: That sounds just like what beans would do. They just don't have any sense atall, I meow! But how did the Moms get from mad to sad?

Chester: Well, the guy who would have lost if all the votes were counted went and took his complaints to the biggest lawsuit place of all, called the Supreme Court. And the Supreme Court made this rule thing, that the votes shouldn't be counted after all and anyway the guys running for President shouldn't have even come and complained there in the first place. At least, that's what I understood from all of it. Mom2 pulled up this long long thing the Supremes wrote, it was sixty-five pages long! And I read part of it, but I really didn't understand most of it. But what it all meant was, the guy who really got most of the votes from the people of America lost the election, and the guy that got fewer votes won.

Harry: Meerrooow! That don't make any sense atall, even fur beans!

Chester: It doesn't make sense to me either. I would think that if one person gets most of the votes they should win. But somehow it doesn't work that way. There is something called an electoral college that decides who really won. I don't understand the electoral college at all, and I don't think Mom does either. Mom2 says she does, but understanding it doesn't mean it makes sense. And it sure doesn't seem right. Anyway, the guy who got the most votes was the guy that the Moms really like and voted for. And Mom2, you know how she gets all involved and emotional about politics. So when the Supremes made this rule, she knew it was all over. That was yesterday, and that's why she was so unhappy. There was a chance that someone might still do something to make it right, but the people all decided they just weren't going to even try anymore, so the guy the Moms like had to get up in front of the whole country and say I lost and the other guy won. And the speech he made was really really really good. Even the people who don't like him said it was a terrific speech. But it doesn't matter how good it was, because that wouldn't change anyone's mind. He had to say he lost and so this other guy, who a lot of people really don't like, is going to be President. It was the speech that made the Moms cry, because that was the end of what they had hoped for all these weeks.

Emily: Well, that's just plain mean! Someone oughta go paw whap that other guy good, I meow! He shouldn't be taking stuffers that he didn't win fair! And he specially oughta not make our Moms cry. Ifn I eber see him I'll tear him up, I will!

Atom: Me too! Me'll tear dat mean ole bean downside up! Me'll claw him like me claws up my scratching post, me will!

Chester: Hahaha! I seriously doubt you two will get the chance to do any tearing up of that guy, but I'm sure the Moms will appreciate your wanting to.

Harry: I think the best thing we can do fur the Moms is just to snuggle them and be sweet to them. We can't make the mean beans not be mean, but we can help to make the Moms happy by being all furry snuggly with them.

Emily: Yous right, Harry. We gots to gib da Moms lotsa eggstra lub. Den eberytin will be all right.

Atom: Lub be da bestest ting, fur sure. Next to Whiskas. An pwayin wid balls an stuffers. An sweepin wid Mom. An lookin outta da windows. An...

Harry: I've heard enough of this. I'm going to go snuggle with Mom2 and make her stop crying.

Chester: I don't think that loving on the Moms will make them all happy again, after what has happened...

Emily: But it sure won't hurt! An it's gotta help some. Lub makes eberythin better, eben ifn it don't make it all better.

Chester: Very true, Em, very true...

Cat Chat 12-23-00
Da Night For Chrissmas

Chester: Me and the cats have been thinking and thinking what to write for our Christmas column.

Harry: That's our column before Chrissmas, not the one about Chrissmas. It's our column what is sorta like our present to alla yous who reads our column all year.

Chester: Right! So we thought and thought, and we really didn't think we could top last years, because it was so good.

Emily: Dat one was good! It were one ub da bestest columns we eber wrote!

Harry: I agree. And we really wanted to do something special for alls yous who comes alla time to read our column. So after thinking bunches, Chester found this pome...

Chester: It's a really neat poem too! I found it on a website. It's called "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" and was written a long long time ago by this guy names Clement Clarke Moore.

Emily: Dat's a mighty fancy name fur a bean!

Chester: Yes, it is. I guess they had extra fancy names in the old days. Anyway, we thought I'd read the poem, and the cats would add their own thoughts as we go. It's kind of long, and some parts are a little boring, so we might leave some out, but I think you will all understand it just fine even so.

Atom: Right!

Chester: So, here is the poem: "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse..."

Emily: Ok, now, dat's jus plain silly. Dar were only one mouse what was stupid enough to come in our house, an he weren't around fur long!

Atom: Dat's fur sure! Heehee!

Emily: Sides, why wouldn't we stir on jus dat one night, jus cause it's da night for Chrissmas? We alays gets up to get a bite to eat or somthin to drink or sniff round or go to da litterhouse.

Harry: I don't think that bean had neber been owned by cats or he would nose better!

Chester: No doubt, heehee. Um..."The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there..."

Atom: What's a chimley?

Chester: It's a place where people have a fire.

Atom: Mom had a fire on da stove tonight. Is da stove a chimley?

Chester: No, that's different. A chimney has a place where people make fires on purpose.

Atom: Yous means Mom didn't make a fire on da stove on purrpose? Dat were da sceeriest ting me's eber seed, wid alla da smell an da smoke!

Harry: I was wondering dat too! She seemed real calm bout it all, but I was sceered, and then the Mom's made the house all cold and tooked me outside cause there was so much smoke in the house. I was hoping it wasn't an on purrpose thing!

Chester: No, it was not an on purpose thing. It was an accident. Can we go on with the poem? Good! "The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads"

Emily: We's da childern round here an I neber had no sugarplums dancin on my head! But I do likes to snuggle in da bed.

Harry: I think they mean the childerns are dreaming of candy. I bet Chester dreams of candy. He does love chocolate a lot! But I dream of mousies and fishies and cat food!

Emily: Me too!

Chester: "And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap."

Harry: Mom don't wear no kercheif! I don't even nose what dat is.

Atom: Mom2 wears caps a lot tho. But me doesn't nose ifn she wears dem to bed, cause we's neber get to go an snuggle in bed wid her.

Emily: Da part about da long winter's nap makes sense, sorta. Da Moms both take long naps, but not just in da winter. Let's see da rest ub dat pome. (The cats look over the poem.) Dis is silly! Dis isn't like our house atall! I tink we oughta do our own pome!

Harry: Me too! We can write better then this!

Atom: Yeah! Let's do our own pome! Yay!

Chester: Ok, how would you start it, then?

Emily: Hmmmm..."Were da night for Chrissmas an all through da house da Moms were both playin wid dar puter mouse..."

Chester: Shouldn't it be mice?

Emily: Dat doesn't rhyme! "Da presents what was piled all ober da floor, what day'd chased us away from wasn't dar no more."

Atom: "Da Moms had boat opened dem presents wid glee: here's a present fur yous, an here's one fur me!"

Harry: "They meant to leave some to open da next day, but they opened and opened and got carried away!"

Chester: Ok! Teehee! "Except for three presents that sat all alone, waiting for Grandpa to come to our home."
Emily: "Our bellies was full of good yummy ham..."

Chester: "It had to be Christmas before we got yams!"

Harry: :Emily and me was snuggled in Mom's bed, and Atom the Monster was resting his head,

In his basket by Mom, where he alays waits fur her to come sleepy--she alays comes late."

Atom: "When out down da hall dar come sucha roar! We runneded and hided, we'd heard it before!"

Emily: Heehee! "Mom2 was pushing the monster vacuum and sucked up all da cat hair we'd put all ober da room!"

Harry: "She finly got tired and left it right there. We had alla night to put down more cat hair!"

Chester: "And then both the Moms they went off to bed. They blew out the candles, the green and the red."

Atom: "An we snuggled up cozy, all warm and all tight. Dar wer plenty ub food for to eat through da night." Harry: "But suddenly somebody comed through da door! Chester stood in his way and asked "What's yous here for?" Chester: I did?

Harry: Yes, you did! "Da bean was all fat and covered in red. He smiled and he patted us all on our heads."

Emily: "He opened his pockets and widout a fuss, put down cans ub tuna and toys, all fur us!"

Chester: Oh, I see! "The man saw that all of the presents were gone, and laughed when we told him what the Moms had done." Atom: "Da Moms heard da noise an come out sleepy eyed, but boy dar jaws dropped when dis fat bean day spied!"

Harry: "The bean he just laughed and said "it's ok, I've just brought you something to have Chrissmas Day!"

Emily: "He said "I don't think you two need more presents, so I'll gib yous some pitchurs ub dead presidents."

Atom: "Now, me and da oders, we taught dat were mean, an we hissed an we growled at dis silly fat bean."

Chester: "But this funny fat man, he wasn't a dope. He pulled from his pockets two big envelopes.

When the Moms looked inside they were stuck in their places: there was money inside, with dead presidents faces!"

Harry: "The Moms were real happy and told him thank you, but he said "That's what Santa Claus's sposed to do!

Then he left out the door and the Moms smiled with glee, and stuck the fat envelopes under the tree."

Emily: "Then we all went to bed again, because we all knew dat Grandpa would be here about one or two."

Chester: "But we heard the man's voice as we snuggled down tight. He said "Merry Christmas, and have a good night!"

Emily: Dar! Dat were much better dan da oder pome, I meow!

Chester: I agree. It was fun too. I would be nice if there was really a Santa Claus to leave us yummy stuff and toys and money for the Moms.

Atom: Maybe dar is, an he come alla year an make sure we all hab what we needs. Doesn't yous tink maybe so?

Harry: I think maybe you're right for once, Atom. I nose the Moms aren't rich, but we have all we need an want, and we're happy together. An dat's what Chrissmas is fur, is so as eberybody will be happy with each other and have love and family and stuff they need. Isn't that right? God wants us to be happy and we celebrate Chrissmas cause of him.

Chester: That's right. Christmas is to celebrate all the love God has for all of us.

Emily: I thought so. So eben ifn dar isn't no Santa what comes through da door, we still is happy.

Atom: Me nose me be happy! An me jus wanna say God Bless us, eberyone!

Chester: And Merry Christmas!

Emily and Harry: Merry Christmas!

Cat Chat 12-30-00
After Christmas

Chester: Well, Christmas is over and boy are the Moms glad!! Mom2 had so many presents for people in her room she could hardly walk in there! There's lots of extra space under Mom's bed too--she has a real high bed, so she stuffed everything under it. Plus, even though Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, it is stressful, the Moms say.

Harry: I don't understand why that should be. After all, there's all the presents and pretty lights and Grandpa bean came over and had dinner and they watched part of a silly movie called "A Christmas Story" that Mom and Grandpa think is hilarious and they watch it every year, but Mom2 hates it. But I don't hating a movie would make Mom2 stressfullike. Do yous?

Emily: No, I doesn't tink so, cause Mom an Grandpa was enjoyin it so much, an Mom2 had fun jus hearin Grandpa laugh. He laughs so funny, like Santa Claus is sposed to. He goes Ho! ho ho ho!

Atom: It is a funny laff. An he's a fun bean, he say me hab lotsa persalty!

Chester: Personality! Heehee. Yes, he likes you, Atom. But he likes all of us. It was fun having him here for Christmas, and he really liked the present the Moms got him.

Emily: SO, what's to be all stressful bout? I tink we had fun!

Chester: Well, I think it's all the things that have to be done and people that the Moms have to get in touch with to exchange presents and stuff like that. Mom2 had to go to her mom's house, and I think she was a little worried about that because sometimes they don't get along real well. And there's these three kids that Mom2 helped to raise and she wanted to get to see them and didn't know if she would or how it would go. And Mom was just plain crazy busy. But it all turned out fine. Mom2 got to see her kids and had lots of fun with them and Mom2's mom was really happy to see her and liked the presents she brought. Mom sent her some presents too.

Harry: Oh! Well, I can unnerstand that. I wouldn't want to have to go visiting all over the place. But I'm glad everything went well fur Mom2. Mom's alays crazy busy, tho.

Emily: Yeah, but dar was dat stuffers bout da place what she's volunteered wid foreber, what got her all upset and cryin and eben more behind den she were before, and dar were presents to wrap and da house to clean. Course, I heped wrap some presents an Mom2 did some house cleanin too. But still, is was a rough month fur the Moms, I meow. No wonder they is glad it's all ober wid!

Harry: Yeah, that's right. I was quite a month fur them. And there was all that politically stuffers that made them all upset too. I hope things are better next month.

Atom: Doesn't we hab anoder holiday fur da next monf come? Me tought me heared sometin bout dat.

Chester: Yes, there's New Year's Eve. That's when the old year ends and the next year begins. Some people go out and have parties and stuff for New Year's Eve, but I don't think the Moms are planning to do anything. They aren't much for going out or parties. Besides, from what I hear there's lots of people out on the roads who shouldn't be driving on New Year's Eve.

Emily: How come day shouldn't be drivin? Is da some kinda bean rule bout beans drivin on News Year Ebe?

Chester: Well, yes and no. People are allowed to drive anytime. But on New Year's Eve a lot of people drink this nasty stuff called alcohol and then they can hardly even walk or see and then it's dangerous for them and everyone else for them to be driving out on the road.

Harry: Oh! I nose all bout that nasty alcohol stuffers! That's what that unhusband used to drink alla time. Then he'd get real loud and fall down and Mom would hide the car keys so he could drive but then sometimes he'' find them and go off somewhere's no one knew where. And sometimes he didn't and he'd get mad and just walk off and Mom said when he dragged home the next day or whenever that he'd say he wokeded up in a ditch. And he was rested a couple times too, I think, by the beans they call the police. The beans that make the rules don't like beans that fall down in the street or drive all fulla alcohol. Like Chester said, it's dangerous fur them an alla da beans round them. That's why he's the unhusband now. Mom got sick of ala that nonsense!

Emily: I member dat some! He'd get hisself all fulla dat nasty stuffers an turn up da stereo so loud I runneded and hid under da bed an him an Mom would yell an Mom would cry. I neber unnerstood why he'd do sucha ting. But he weren't round fur long after I come to da house. Mom throwed him out like da trash. Is dat what da beans what make da rules do? Does they throw out da nasty alcohol drinkin beans in da trash?

Chester: Well, they probably should, if they drink and drive. But mostly I think the police people sit around in their cars and watch for people who are driving funny and then they stop them and if they have been drinking they take them to jail. Then those people are in big trouble and it costs them lots of money to get out of all the trouble they got into for drinking that alcohol.

Atom: Why does day do dat ifn day is gonna get in trouble fur it?

Chester: For the same reason you do things that get you in trouble. They think they're having fun.

Atom: Yeah, but me's a kitten. Me's spposed to get into stuffers an hab fun and get in trouble. Me didn't nose beans did stuffers what is mischeveser! Sides, it don't sound like much fun to me to drink stuffers dat makes you fall down an get loud an make oder peoples unhappy.

Harry: It doesn't sound like fun to me either, but I nose that the unhusband and his friends sure thought it was lotsa fun. I never did unnerstand that. I didn't like them that way. Mom didn't act like that atall! All beans are strange, but some are stranger than others, I meow!

Chester: I agree. Anyway, that's part of why the Moms won't be going anywhere on New Year's Eve: the crazy people are out on the roads. But you know the Moms, they like to be at home anyway. And on New Year's Day, when all the people that went out and got crazy feel sick and stuff, the Moms will be just fine, or at least as fine as they always are. And Mom says she's going to take down the Christmas tree and then they'll have a whole fresh new year ahead of them. I hope it will be a good year for all of us here in our house.

Harry: I do too. The Mom's deserve a good year. They worked so hard all last year to make us cozy in our new house all together. I hope we all have a happy new year!

Emily: I hopes all kitties and beans an dragons hab a happy new year. Cept fur Atom, ub course! Teehee!

Atom: Hey!

Emily: I's teasin yous, monster kitten. Happy New Year eberyone!

Harry: Yes, Happy New Year! And all you kitties, ifn your beans drink that nasty alcohol stuffers and get crazy, be sure to hide the car keys so as they won't get hurt nor hurt nobody. Then everybody really will have a Happy New Year, I meow!

Cat Chat is © 1999 - 2008, 2009 Ariel, Emily, Harry, and Chester the Dragon. All rights reserved worldwide. This column may not be reprinted in part or whole without express permission of Ariel.

Poetry Corner
“Friendship and Love” 12.30.00 
by L. E. Shaffer © 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. Shaffer

We hold utmost
Friendship and love
Not discord or hate
Encourage not discourage

Kind words prime
Not discourse
Rude and hurtful
Misunderstandings

Misinterpretations
Perceptions rampant
Intentions unknown
Only guessed

Without fairness
No friendships
Or love considered
First and foremost

Include not exclude
Stay never quit
Try forever
In love and acceptance

Being optimistic
Not dark brooding
Looking for all
That is wrong

Look for the best
Forgiving
And forgiven
Friendships and love

© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. Shaffer

Hockey Puck
In the NHL there is great news. Mario Lemieux has made a successful come back after having been retired for three and a half years. He became a hall of famer and now owns the Pittsburgh Penguins. His first game back he scored an assist after only 33 seconds into the first period. Soon he had his first goal and ended up with three points for the night. The Florida Panthers fire the Murray brothers as coach and general manager. They traded Igor back to the Redwings. The shakeup is supposed to jog the team out of last place in the entire NHL. The team is up for sale as well.

In the NFL the Miami Dolphins made the playoff, but they couldn't sell enough tickets to ensure television broadcast locally. In the NBA the Zo-less Miami Heat are beginning to play well and climb in the standings. MLB Florida Marlins will have a new publicly-financed stadium and change their name to the Miami Marlins. Tiger Woods of PGA fame was named sportsman of the year by many organizations. NASCAR is gearing up for its super bowl in Daytona. Wish I could be there!

Guest Articles
We have a poem by Katje and promos from Ariel and Jackie. As always these articles are copyright respective artists listed.

Dark poetry.... by Katje:
I see you Death, not very far
take me out of this despair
take me from this morass of pain
o, never let me feel again

stay with me, I'm so alone
all my joy in life has gone
pain is burning like a fire
to sleep, is what I most desire

guide me to the deep dark place
I will welcome your embrace
to slide into the emptiness
away from pain, into your caress

let me rest eternally
listen, to my desperate plea...

Ariel's Holodeck http://ariel7.terrashare.com/: Weekly Reviews of The X-Files, Star Trek Voyager and Buffy The Vampire Slayer, a weekly column written by my three cats and pet dragon, Archived reviews of DS9, Voyager, and X-Files (I don't have past seasons of Buffy archived yet), Archived Cat Chats plus Cat Chat photo galleries, My In Memory Of Mommy subsite, the Always In My Heart Webring Homepage (for memorial sites and pages), the In Loving Memory Award (for outstanding memorial sites), the Kolorful Kittie Kat Webring Homepage, HTML Tips and Tricks, and lots more!

Ariel's Castle http://www.geocities.com/jessie_778/: Public domain clipart, animations, lines, buttons, arrows, and backgrounds gathered from all over the web. A large collection of all sorts of things.

Claire's WAVs http://claire777.terrashare.com/: An eclectic collection of WAV files made by Yours Truly, ranging from SF to Rock Music, Austin Powers to The Blues Brothers, and nearly everything in between. A handful of files were not made by me. These are credited to the people who made them with links to their sites. About 1/3 of Rocky Horror Picture Show is covered, more to come when I have time. Ariel :-)

The Mountains of Ao
Tears from Ao and two poetry collections, Pages of Life and Visions of Life, are available electronically at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. The Runes of Ao project, The Mountains of Ao novel currently on chapter 13 of 22, and the The Book of Kalian Mysticism poetry collection are all works in progress. The third poetry collection called Moments of Life is about to be published. Also a collaboration with K. Young on a novella called Dragon Embers is now published on the webzine called The Outer Rim and the fan site known as Runes of Ao.

The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony and Abby. Submittals may be edited for content and become the property for the one-time nonexclusive publication of:

Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company
Merchant Occupational License #48210-0076151
PO Box 501833
Marathon FL 33050-1833
(305) 743-9648 voice/data/fax

Internet URLs: http://RunesofAo.com
http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/
http://RunesofAo.com/ebony/
http://RunesofAo.com/abby/

Publication date: December 31, 2000
Author: L. E. Shaffer
Company: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company &
Shaffer Internet Publishing Company
© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. SHAFFER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
FIRST PRINTING

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